Wanting From Abundance

First of all, I'd like to open this article with the fact that it's not bad to want things.

Yes, wanting can be selfish, greedy, spoiled, or even ungrateful...but it doesn't have to be. I think what's important is looking at the energy behind it, the motivation, the thoughts behind the WHY you want something. 

Wanting something can be powerful. It's how things change, how new items are invented, it's how you can elevate yourself and your life. 

Let's discuss what is behind the wanting, lack, or abundance.

I remember the first meeting we had with our first financial advisor. One of the questions he asked us was "What does your life in retirement look like? Do you want a house on the beach?" 

It was his job was to help guide us financially to achieve our dream life. He needed to know how much money that would cost so we could make that happen.

I recall having a few thoughts and emotions regarding those questions. At the time I had just started my first job after residency. I had debt up to my eyeballs with student loans, a mortgage, and a car loan. The thought of being out of debt was mind-blowing enough for me that I hadn't really thought about life after there.

I couldn't answer his question the way he wanted me to. Largely because I had a scarcity mindset and I hadn't pushed myself to think that far ahead in life.

People who owned beach houses had gobs of money. I felt that I didn't deserve anything like that. That having a beach house someday was asking too much from life, it was greedy. In my mind, if I said I wanted a beach house someday, it meant I was unhappy with what I had. It meant I wanted from lack.

My biggest fears in life at the time were:

1. Having my loved ones die and being left alone.

2. Having no money. 

My answer to his question came from those fears. I told him I wanted to own my house outright one day so I knew I would always have a place to live. It meant safety and security. While I think that's an awesome goal to have, you can see how my goal fuel was rooted in fear. In my mind, I was not worthy of or deserve anything more. Owning my home someday was more than many people ever accomplish. 

You can see how my thoughts were creating my feelings of unworthiness, fear, and scarcity. 

What I have since learned is that wanting things isn't bad. It doesn't mean you are greedy or that you don't value the life or things you already have. You can love, cherish, and be grateful for what you have and still want more. This is called wanting from abundance. 

Now when I look into my future I see myself living in Europe. Not because I hate it here in the US, not because I don't love my home (which I'm still in the process of paying off), but because it's something that I've long desired to do. I want to experience the culture and history of it all.

When I told my husband this he said "I don't understand. We have it good. We have a beautiful home and good jobs, why do you want to give that up?"

I didn't disagree we have it good. I told him that I can be happy and grateful for what we have and still want from abundance.

He said he didn't understand. I explained that I can love my life now and still want more without having thoughts that what I have is not good enough. I told him that it's hard but sometimes you have to give up something good for something great. 

How else do you create your future if you don't look at what you want and go after it? 

Often times we want something that we don't have from a place of lack. This is why my husband was confused. He thought I was wanting from lack, meaning I wanted because I wasn't happy with what I had.

Here are a few other examples of wanting from lack. We want to lose weight because we don't like our bodies. Wanting from lack often comes from comparing our lives or possessions with others. We want a luxury car because the one we have isn't good enough, or we don't feel like we fit in because we don't have what our friends have.

Wanting from lack feels terrible. You feel in a rush to get something or achieve something. The energy behind it is neediness, negative or desperate. Because our thoughts create our feelings, when you want from a place of lack you will create more lack. Your mindset going in to achieve that is, it's not enough, and so you arrive at that goal with the same lack type mindset. You can see this easily in the example of weight loss. I'll be happy when I lose 10 pounds, wanting it from a place of not being happy with your body. Once you get to that 10lbs it's no longer enough. You aren't satisfied with how you look because your mindset comes along with it. The result doesn't make you feel better it's the thoughts about the circumstances that make you feel an emotion. This is why it's important to see what kind of thoughts are behind your wants. 

So today I want you to think about your future or something that you have been wanting to achieve, acquire, or make happen in your life. Analyze the thoughts you have about that. Are they coming from lack? Is your energy and mindset about them negative? Are you frustrated or mad that you don't have it yet? 

See if you can transition those thoughts to something more positive or at the very least a neutral thought. Can you be grateful for what you have, where you are now, and want from abundance?

Here's one I'm working on:

Over the last 3 years, I've put on some weight from the cancer meds I'm on, and will continue to be on for another 7 years. 

I'm not happy about the weight, it doesn't feel good to look in my closet and see all the clothes I can't wear. (I recently let all those go and thanked them for their service) I find the mirror scary. It's easy to have thoughts I want to lose weight because I look ugly. I want a leaner body because I feel fat. 

Believe me, I have those thoughts. But when I do, I try transitioning them to something more neutral. 

I am here, I'm healthy and cancer-free. I am so grateful for that.

I can want to have a leaner body but from the perspective of I want to be healthy to enjoy life and help others as long as possible.  

Do you see how I want a leaner body is the same statement, but the thought and energy behind it is different? 

Pull out your journal and discover the thought work behind your wants.

Until next time...