Why Resolutions Don't Work For Perfectionists

goals resolutions Jan 06, 2022

Happy New Year! 

I hope you feel a sense of excitement and possibility that comes with a new year.  

Did you make resolutions for this new year?

If so, I wanted to share with you two reasons why resolutions don't work for perfectionists. 

First of all, the statistics behind resolutions are stacked against you even if you aren't a perfectionist.  By the end of the first 30 days 75% of people have already broken their resolutions. 

If they are that hard to keep for the general population, they are even harder for a perfectionist. 

Here's two reasons not to set resolutions as a perfections.

Reason #1

Most perfectionists have what we call an all or nothing way of thinking.  Let me share some examples.

  • If I can't do something perfectly I won't do it at all.  
  • There's only one right choice, one right way to do something. 
  • If I don't get an A I've failed. 

Resolutions are promises to yourself to change a behavior.  

The problem for perfectionists is with the all or nothing thinking, once we mess up that resolution streak, that's it, it's over. (See the all or nothing thinking there?)

We didn't do it perfectly so we shame ourselves for failing. When we do this we create emotions of dislike, distrust, unworthiness, frustration, and disappointment to name a few.

 

Reason #2

Another thing to consider is WHY you are making the resolution?

Is the reason something that helps you become the next version of yourself to achieve a goal? 

Or, is it because you hate something about yourself and it is really fueled by a desire to be more perfect?

Your why is your goal fuel. A resolution motivated out of hatred or shame isn't so fun to do or keep.

What to do instead:

Set goals.  Do you feel the energy difference between working towards something you want and resolving to change something you don't like about yourself?

Cheers to a great new year!

Love from your life coach,

Alissa

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